Divine Secrets of the Mama Sisterhood

There's an old African proverb that says “It takes a village to raise a child.” As mothers, we know this all too well. Raising children to be happy, healthy, educated, and compassionate individuals (and maintaining sanity while doing it!) is the world’s biggest role and responsibility. And while we certainly need teachers, doctors, coaches, police officers, politicians and crossing guards to help us and our children in our communities, I believe first and foremost, that we need each other as fellow mothers in order to be truly successful.  

Here are five "divine secrets” that I hope will inspire each of us to embrace and support all fellow Moms—regardless of their walk of life—as we travel through the journey of motherhood together…

1. We are all teachers.
Each of us has gifts, talent, knowledge and experience that we can share with our fellow Moms. Whether you have 1 year, 10 years or 40 years experience as a mother, you have something you can teach via a Moms’ group, a chat room or message board, your occupation, a newspaper article, or simply by taking time to chat with a fellow Mom in your neighborhood. When we take the time to share what we have learned in a loving, constructive way, we help those on the rungs below us climb the ladder of motherhood.

2. We are, by nature, nurturers.
We are “hardwired” to look after and protect one another. While this hardwiring worked beautifully way back when families actually lived in small villages and needed to protect one another from severe weather and other external threats, today’s isolated culture leads most of us to tend to our immediate home and family. We must reach out to others in the sisterhood. Offer to sit with a neighbor’s children for a couple of hours so that Mom can get a much needed break she might not otherwise get; take the time to listen to a fellow Mom vent without judging or looking at your watch—simply listen and offer support; step up to watch out for an active child whose Mom might be occupied with a baby or simply trying to use the facilities! Be on the lookout for the many small ways you can offer an extra pair of caring hands.

3. We are creators.
As mothers, we are natural creators and must work to create and celebrate together rather than compete with and against one another. There is too much focus on competition in our culture—for success, titles, grades, accomplishments, etc. We measure, we compare, we worry—for ourselves and our children. We ask ourselves: “Am I doing enough?” and “Is this good enough?” This kind of thinking breeds fear and judgment. We don’t need that as mothers and our children certainly do not need it either. Thinking with a creator’s mind, on the other hand, gives rise to inspiration, meaning and generosity. With this in mind, we must find ways to celebrate one another not for what we have achieved or how popular we are but for who we are and how we have made a difference in the world. In our jobs, businesses and daily lives, we must ask and look for ways to answer the question: “How can I help you?” rather than “What can you do for me?” This kind of thinking is how we collectively create an environment that nurtures kindness, empathy and character in our children and our children’s children. Now that is an accomplishment!

4. We are called on to practice acceptance and non-judgment.
I’m always amazed at how quick many mothers are to judge other mothers—especially those from older generations. This kind of unloving behavior is unfathomable. When we attack one another through judgment, gossip, and blame, it is toxic—not only to ourselves and the women we attack, but also to our children who are tuned in to and learn from everything we do. We all do the best we can with what we have and what we know at the time. Let’s remember this and practice accepting beliefs and behaviors that may be different from our own. Accepting them doesn’t mean you have to like them or agree with them, it simply means you can acknowledge them with an empathetic mind and a compassionate heart. You never know what struggles a fellow Mom may be facing on any given day.

5. We are called on to care for our Selves – physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Only when we include our selves in our own circle of care can we effectively take care of others in the circle and follow through on the divine secrets. We’re all in the same boat when it comes to time and energy—it’s in short supply. Yet consistent with Divine Secret #4, neglecting our physical, emotional and spiritual selves is toxic to our entire being. And when we become toxic, we bring that toxin into all of our relationships. We can no longer afford to have these toxins around us—not in our world and certainly not in the sisterhood! Include your self in your circle of care so that you can offer the gift of YOU. It’s why you are here. It’s what our children need. It’s what the sisterhood needs.

Having read these divine secrets, it is time to heed the call of the Mama Sisterhood! Embrace them. Live them. And please, pass them on…

» Read More Articles